Personality by the Pint: What Does Your Beer Say About You?
Craft breweries have a special freedom when it comes to naming their brews. They don’t have to worry about maintaining a wide approval or offending people; they can just call the beer whatever they want. Some of these creative titles can’t help but conjure images of a specific personality. Here are nine beers and what they say about the people who drink them. Which beer are you?
Arrogant Bastard: You certainly never won the “Best Sportsmanship” award as a kid, and you haven’t changed much — why mess with perfection? You’ll take any opportunity to point out how your drink is vastly superior to anyone else’s (Stone Brewing).
Raging Bitch: Your friends wouldn’t exactly call you “rational” or “sane, “ and you straddle the delicate line between crazy and literally rabid. You are willing to club someone with a bottle of this Belgian-Style IPA for looking at you funny (Flying Dog).
Blithering Idiot: You just can’t stop yourself from saying what’s on your mind. After a few drinks of this 11.1% ABV beer you’ll be leaning on your friend saying that, just, you love them, man. No, seriously, you mean it, dude (Weyerbacher).
Mad Elf: You only show up around Christmas, but when you do you’re very popular, though you tend to blush a lot. The variety of ingredients in this ruby red ale matches your eccentric lifestyle (Tröegs).
Belligerent Ass Nut Brown Ale: You like to complain about how the world’s going to hell. Things were better back in the day, when homes were made with asbestos and kids could eat lead paint chips in peace. After all, you turned out fine (Portneuf Valley Brewing).
Broken Hipster: You gave up, sold out. You used to like this wheat beer before it was cool. But now your friends are drinking it, and you can’t move on to the next obscure thing. You’re too mainstream now. It’s time to sell the big frame glasses and hang up the sweater (Indie Ale House Brewing).
Wild at Heart: You may seem like a calm, down-to-earth person, but as soon as you get the opportunity, you’re a wild party machine. You like to dance on tables and overindulge in the fruity, tropical flavors of this beer (Brewery Ommegang).
Abbey Normal: You’ve always been a little different from your friends. Instead of going outside, you prefer to reenact Frankenweenie with the family hamster. You like watching thunderstorms while drinking this Belgian Pale Ale (Sun King Brewery).
Curmudgeon Old Ale: You’re either an old soul or just old. Your favorite pastimes involve sitting on the porch and yelling at anyone who steps on your lawn, disturbing your beer drinking (Founders Brewing).